So, I have decided that I would like to do a weekly post about marriage. I think when every young couple gets married they honestly think it will last a lifetime. Even though the divorce rate in the United States is now somewhere around 50%, we all assume that we will somehow be immune to it, and that “it won’t happen to us”. When in fact, the statistics say that if you & your spouse go out to dinner with your favorite couple, one couple will ultimately end up divorced.
These statistics break my heart, and Dwyatt and I are very much aware of them. We have devoted ourselves to continuing to keep our marriage strong… we want to outlast any statistic!! So, being that we are a young married couple, I thought it might be appropriate to write about marriage on this blog… thus we are starting Marriage Monday’s! :) My thought is that once a week we can discuss different ideas to keep marriages strong, little tips to show your spouse how much you love them, and maybe one day even get advice from some “older & wiser” readers!
When we were engaged we went to pre-marital counseling with our pastor. One of the goals of this was to make sure we had thought through our decision to marry, and to challenge some of the topics we may not have discussed as a couple. Our pastor asked us to read The 5 Love Languages, a book by Gary Chapman. The reason I mention this book 3 years later is because Dwyatt and I still talk about it! He will occasionally ask me out of nowhere, “how is your love tank today?” or “is the love tank full?”. Although it sounds like a silly question, I think it’s important that we continue to openly discuss our happiness in our marriage.
The ”love tank” is basically a measure of how happy you are with your marriage on a daily basis. People tend to be one of the five love languages, meaning that they express and feel loved in one of the following ways:
1) Words of Affirmation – giving compliments and voicing the words “I love you” often.
2) Quality Time – undivided attention without distractions where you focus on a listen to your spouse.
3) Receiving Gifts – nothing big, just a handwritten note or a flower go a long way.
4) Acts of Service – helping your spouse with things like chores, cooking, laundry, etc. without them having to ask.
5) Physical Touch - holding hands, give them a message, hugs, are all forms of physical touch.
I am definitely a Quality Time girl, and Dwyatt is a Acts of Service kind of guy (take this quiz to discover your love language!). I think this is why Dwyatt & I both enjoy cooking together in the evenings. He appreciates that I am trying to make him nice dinners and likes to share this chore with me, while I enjoy the casual conversation and undivided attention we give to one another during this time.
What’s your love language? How about your spouse? How do you use these to demonstrate how much you love them??
Because I like pictures… here’s one I snapped with my iPhone at the pool earlier this summer